|
|
|
Last Updated: Nov 19, 2008 - 9:56:45 AM |
Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, where we bring you the news that others just may miss.
I know at times I sit here in front of my laptop struggling to come with something interesting to write about, commonly known as “writer’s block.” This condition is seldom serious unless you also get a “blonde moment” at the same time, which means if you don’t get some help, you are now headed down the road for a “mental breakdown.” Fortunately, help did arrive in the nick of time when the news wrote itself. Some examples:
NEW EXTREME SPORT JUST INVENTED
A jogger in Arizona ran a mile with a rapid fox clamped to her arm [no lie!]. She ran to her car, threw the fox in the trunk, and drove to the hospital, where he promptly bit another person. I do not know what her time was in the mile, but I bet if you had a rabid animal attached to your body and the rabies vaccination shot was available at the end of the race, you would be highly motivated to burn rubber. Hmmmm . . . Wonder if wolverines would be a better incentive?
USE NUMBER 1,988 FOR DUCT TAPE
A passenger on a flight from Puerto Rico to Chicago had to be restrained with duct tape when she became unruly and the ankle cuffs kept slipping off her legs. Too much alcohol before and during the flight seemed to contribute to the passenger’s disruptive behavior, but it still leaves some questions unanswered. One, I did not know airlines carried cuffs that could be used on a passenger to keep him/her in their assigned seat. What else – chains? Stun guns? Super glue? Then there is the duct tape. What plane would be complete without the all-purpose duct tape?
Not only can it be used to restrain passengers; it can come in handy for other purposes.
Flight attendant: “Folks. Do not be alarmed about the hole that just appeared in the forward cabin. We have duct tape for just an emergency!” She holds the shiny grey roll up for all to see, and the passengers break out in song and dance.
FOOT IN MOUTH
To show the world that he is going to hit the floor running when he takes office, he took an action that is often reserved only for the sitting president. The newly-elected President Obama promptly put his foot in his mouth when in his first press conference he told reporters that he had spoken with all “living” presidents for guidance and he did not want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing séances with past presidents. Immediately realizing the taste of shoe leather, he called Nancy Reagan to apologize. It is reported that he only got her answering machine and it said to leave a message and her spirits would get with his spirits in the near future.
I better quit now; I feel a cramp coming on. As always be good, play safe, and remember to keep your duct tape close at hand at all times.
JR and Max
© Copyright by Village Publishing
Top of Page Comment
on This Article
The
Village News office is located at 4607 West Hundred Road Chester
Mailing address is PO Box 2397 Chester, VA 23831
Phone: 751-0421 Fax: 751-9155
Office hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday - Friday call ahead for
other hours.
Statement
of Journalistic Ethics
|
|
|
Village News:
Read right 'round the world.
|
|
