|
Last Updated: Nov 14, 2008 - 12:49:26 PM |
Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, where we get exercise any way we can get it.
I finally got tired of looking at bedsheets that were standing in for blinds, and spent the weekend putting up 14 blinds. Now, putting up blinds all day can be a pain, but they are also a good full body workout. I call it the Venetian Blind Step-ercise.
This is how I see it: first you go down the basement and get your assorted tools, ladder, drill, screwdrivers, measuring tape, and a hammer. [Yes, a hammer; eventually all things need a good whack. Trust me, this is a guy thing.] Go back down to the basement to get the utility knife so you can open the plastic boxes that are sealed like time capsules.
Open box, pull out parts, and look at instruction sheet. You see four languages. Squint at small pictures of how to assemble the blinds. Promptly throw away instructions.
Climb ladder and position plastic end piece. Go back down ladder and find pencil to mark holes. Climb ladder and mark holes. Climb back down. Get drill and climb back up. Drill holes on one side, climb down; move ladder. Climb back up and drill second set of holes. Climb back down, get screws and screwdriver, and climb back up. Climb back down and retrieve the plastic end holders; back up and insert screws. Drop screw.
Go back down ladder and search for screw that should have fallen right at the base of the ladder, but somehow manages to disappear in a four-foot arc. Give up and grab another screw. Step on lost screw. Ouch. Note to self: Wear shoes next time.
Repeat this several times per window, since the screws are very small and the space inside the plastics ends are not made for adult fingers. Plus, for good measure, at least one of the holes will be drilled too deep and the screw will fall out, which results in the previously mentioned kneel-and-search exercise, plus a trip to the basement to find that can of old screws in the hopes you will find one that will fit. After several more trips up the ladder as you try to locate the appropriately-sized screw, you are now ready to install the blind.
Before starting this last phase, untangle the cords. This is not a physical exercise, but it is an exercise of patience. Place blind in holder. Go back down ladder. Retrieve the plastic retainers; back up to install and back down to adjust the blinds. Notice that one of the cords is wrapped around the top of the blind; so back up the ladder, remove plastic ends, remove blind, straighten cord, and reinstall. Climb back down, adjust blinds, admire work, and take a break with a cold one before repeating procedure 13 more times.
So there you have it: a great workout with step exercise, stretching, and eye-hand coordination, all from the amazing Venetian Blind Step-ercise. Watch for the new video, Installing Blinds with the Oldies, in your stores next month!
As always be good, play safe, and remember some exercise is better than none.
JR and Max
© Copyright by Village Publishing
Top of Page Comment
on This Article
The
Village News office is located at 4607 West Hundred Road Chester
Mailing address is PO Box 2397 Chester, VA 23831
Phone: 751-0421 Fax: 751-9155
Office hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday - Friday call ahead for
other hours.
Statement
of Journalistic Ethics
|
