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Columns : Walter Wilson Last Updated: Jul 23, 2008 - 9:59:40 AM


Max Sets a Record
By
Jul 23, 2008 - 9:50:59 AM

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Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, where records are being broken as we speak.  We are all aware that the Olympics are only a few short weeks away and records are falling, especially in swimming as the new body suit reduces drag and improves speed, but there are other records being broken that may not get the television coverage that the Olympics will receive, but nevertheless, they are still records.

Recently in Fort Scott, Kansas, the community set a record on how far a penny can go, literally.  For three days, they worked in a parking lot placing pennies on the ground to form a chain that was 40 miles long-breaking the old record of 34.57 miles set in Malaysia in 1995.  [Note: There was no comment on who was going to put all of these pennies in a roll and take them to the local bank to be cashed.]

 For another example, on July 2nd in Washington, 10,000 sneakers were placed toe-to-toe in a courtyard to produce a record 1.65-mile string of shoes.  However, with this record there comes a sad note.

Due to the smell from all of those sneakers, the area is now labeled a biohazard area. Off course the Dogpound cannot be left out of this sort of thing, so this issue is going to set a new record on the number of Blonde Jokes listed in one Dogpound issue.  Wish us luck!

Thought for the Week
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb... and I also know that I’m not blonde.” Dolly Parton

Here We Go: Start the Clock and Counter
*Why don’t blondes eat pickles?  Because they get their head stuck in the jar.

*How do you kill a blonde?  Put spikes in her shoulder pads.

*Why don’t blondes like to make Kool-Aid?  Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

*Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?  That is where you wash vegetables.

*Why does a blonde have TGIF written on her shoes?  Toes go in first.

*What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?  Pull the pin and throw it back.

*How do you get a blonde’s eyes to sparkle?  Shine a flashlight in her ear.

*How do you get a blonde to laugh on Monday?  Tell her a joke on Friday.

*What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?  Frosted Flakes.

*What do you call 20 blondes at the bottom of the ocean?  An air pocket.

*How can you tell that a blonde has used your computer?  There is white-out on the screen.

*How many blondes does it take to make chocolate cookies?  100; 1 to stir and 99 to peel the M & M’s.

And we have a new record!!  Yahoo!

Boy am I ever tired but happy with the record performance. As always, be good, play safe, and remember some of my best friends are blonde.

JR and Max

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