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Columns : Walter Wilson Last Updated: Nov 14, 2008 - 12:49:26 PM


Max Loves Self-Service
By
Aug 13, 2008 - 2:39:27 PM

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Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, which is becoming more and more self-service. 

I went to my fairly new dentist for my first dental cleaning, and as I was sitting there waiting for the dental assistant to prepare for our up-close-and-personal pick/floss session, she handed me an instrument.  

“What?”  I asked.


“This is a suction tube and you are going to assist me with the cleaning.”  


“What?” (Me again.)


“When I tell you to stick the wand in your mouth, flip the handle, close your lips, and the resulting suction will take all the water, spit, and blood out of your mouth.”  Now, she did not actually say blood, but I knew what she meant.


So we proceeded. She would pick, stick, and scrape away, and then follow her efforts with a blast of chilling cold water, which was my clue to start the suction process.  


I learned a few things – one, if you do not properly seal your lips, you cannot get sufficient suction to get all that “spit” out of your mouth, and if you turn the suction tube off before you exit your mouth, the resulting water still in the tube will dribble back in your face.  After a few pick-and-suction sessions, we became a well-oiled team.  I figure after a few more cleaning sessions, I will be qualified to start my second career as an assistant to the dental assistant.  

Thought for the Week
“There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb himself.” Andrew Carnegie

Overheard
*Detroit’s most pressing problem is to design a car small enough to conserve gas and
large enough not to disappear into a pothole.

*It’s an awful thing to grow old alone.  My wife hasn’t had a birthday in six years.

Science
In his science class, my ten-year-old grandson Jeff was learning about hibernation. He brought his test paper home the day after the exam. One question was: “Into what state of inactivity do animals go during the winter months?”

Jeff had penciled in: “Florida.” [I think the kid deserves an A+!]

Clock on Wheels – New Must-have Product
If you’ve ever had trouble waking up a teen or a spouse with a regular alarm clock, it’s time to meet Clocky.  Clocky is the uniquely designed mobile alarm clock that is guaranteed to get you on your feet. It gives you one chance to get up, but if you snooze, Clocky will jump off of your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide. Mischievous and loud. [Every household with kids who do not want to get out of bed to go to school must buy one, and one for a spare. I am sure they are going to get some abuse!]

That is it.  As always be good, play safe, and remember self-service is good for you.  

JR and Max

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