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Columns : Walter Wilson Last Updated: Jul 16, 2008 - 3:10:40 PM


Max Howls About High Gasoline Prices
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Jul 16, 2008 - 3:10:04 PM

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Hello and welcome to the exciting world of news in the Dogpound.  
“We interrupt this program for breaking news.”  
“Hello, I am Todd Mann the anchor news reporter for the award winning WDOG News and we have this on-the-spot report about a high speed chase in progress on Rt. 45.”
“Ted is in our news helicopter. Ted, are you there?  Can you hear me?”
“Todd, this is Ted and I hear you 10-20, or is that 20-40? Anyway, we are watching a high-speed chase in progress where an alleged bank robber fugitive in a white Bronco is headed South on Rt. 45 and in his wake are three police cruisers.  The chase began 60 minutes ago and he has already racked up $125 in gas surcharges, and if this chase does not end soon, the fugitive better be glad that he robbed a bank. He is going to need that money!”
“Ha! Ted, that is a good one. You always manage to crack me up.  Happy news hunting from WDOG, and now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming.”
Now, if you are wondering where I was going with this story, well, in Holly Springs, Georgia, speeders are now required to not only pay for their speeding tickets, but they will have to come up with an extra $12 to cover the gas costs for the police office who stops them.  

Thought for the Week
“I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.”
 E E Cummings

We Must Finish Our Round
A foursome and two caddies were on the 16th tee Saturday at Brynwood Country Club in Milwaukee when an armed man wearing a mask popped out of the bushes, demanded their money, and ran off into the woods with his loot.  Undeterred, the golfers carried on with their game, and all tee times went on as usual during the weekend. [And did you expect anything less?]

Star Wars Punny
One day, Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were at a very fancy dinner party they had hosted. They were seated in full view of the rest of the people in attendance, and Luke, his table manners somewhat lacking, was devouring his bantha meat with his bare hands.
Obi-Wan, sensing that this display of savageness was rather disturbing to their guests, leaned over to Luke, and whispered: “Use the fork, Luke!” [My apologies to George Lucas for this one!]

As always be good, play safe, and remember to hang tough.  

JR and Max

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