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Columns : Walter Wilson Last Updated: Jul 10, 2008 - 12:32:05 PM


Max Does Not Play With Fire
By
Jun 18, 2008 - 9:29:49 AM

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Hello and welcome back to the blazing Dogpound.

Every once in a while, I get ambitious around the house, and last weekend I decided it was time to clean up the brush and limbs that had been gathering around the yard.  I borrowed a good electric chainsaw from a co-worker and happily laid waste to any wood that looked like it deserved to be cut into tiny pieces. 

After some good honest work, I had collected a little pile of wood, and knowing that the trash collector would not haul away my lumberjack efforts, I decided to burn it to the ground.  I had some old gasoline that I wanted to get rid of after a long winter’s sleep- over and figured it was better to use this to help start the fire versus just throwing it out in the woods. 

Now, you have to realize it has been some time since I have played with fire, and most of my experience of late had been with a charcoal lighter, so my memory has faded over time of what to do and not what to do around a fire that is fed by gasoline. So you have to imagine there I am happily pouring gasoline over my wood pile, all the while thinking, the more the better. 

I struck two matches and threw them into the pile and for just a brief instant, nothing happened. Like a slow motion movie, I could see the matches land in the brush, and I was thinking that nothing was going to happen, when, WHOOSH, my whole vision was suddenly filled with head-high flames inches from my face.  Good thing I was standing downwind or I could have skipped shaving for a few months.

Thought of the Week
Fire that’s closest kept burns most of all.
Fire and gunpowder do not sleep together.  ~Proverb [and add gasoline!]

A Green Joke . . . Sort Of
Two green beans were crossing the highway when one of them was hit by a truck. His buddy scraped him up and rushed him to the hospital.  After hours of surgery the doctor came in and said, “I have good news and bad news.”
 

The green bean started to rejoice and the doctor said, “The good news is that he’s going to live. The bad news is he’ll be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”  

That is it for now.  As always be good, play safe, and remember, he who plays with fire better be careful!

JR and Max

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