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Columns : Valerie Dalton Last Updated: Jul 10, 2008 - 12:32:05 PM


Ruby’s Story, Part II
By
Jun 18, 2008 - 9:32:35 AM

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Part One of Ruby’s story appeared in the June 4 edition of the Village News.

Looking back over the last 30 years, I am aware that my initial reaction of grief was a normal reaction to the diagnoses of a serious illness. It takes time to work through the feelings of loss, denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Having good friends, a minister or pastor, and a support group, helped me to work through this process.  If you have a loved one who is ill and you’re feeling stuck in the grief process (or if these feelings persist to the point that they interfere with relationships or daily life activities), I encourage you to seek out a mental health professional such as a counselor to help you heal and to find ways to deal with the challenges you face.  

Learning about the illnesses and the medications that are being used today has been the most helpful experience for me. Becoming educated about the symptoms and diagnosis of brain disorders made it possible for me to make sense of the behaviors and needs of my individual family members. I learned how to separate the illness from the person. This information also made it possible for me to offer support to each individual as they searched for the best way to manage their illness.

Having hope and support are very important in the recovery process.  Perhaps more important for parents is the willingness to let go of control as your family member takes responsibility for their own life, including managing their own mental health. Life does not need to be built around the illness; rather, life can be lived as the illness (a part of one’s life) is managed.

I am very proud of my family.  They have all found what works for them individually to successfully deal with the challenges that life throws their way.  They are empathic and caring individuals who give of themselves to make life better for others.  One of my daughters (Angel) is sharing her story in order to help reduce the stigma associated with her illness, and I am amazed at her strength and determination to help others live without the discrimination caused by stigma. 

Having support for me and my family has been an important component of my recovery.  FACES, a non-profit group in Chesterfield County, offers a family support group that meets on the first and third Tuesday of each month. They also offer a six week course called Demystifying Brain Disorders for family members. To learn more, please contact Barbara at 378-0035 or visit their website, www.facesva.org.

FACES also host Friends 4 Recovery, a peer support group for mental health consumers.  They meet the first and third Friday of the month from 6:30-8 p.m. at the FACES building, located at 11601 Lucks Ln.  You can email Friends 4 Recovery at friends4recovery@comcast.net.

Another resource for family members is NAMI.  A non-profit whose mission is to improve the lives of all who are affected by serious brain disorders and to fight the stigma that surrounds mental illness, NAMI offers a Family to Family course on brain disorders and provides services for consumers and their family members. Please visit their website at www.namiva.org.

I’m very hopeful for my future and my family’s future.  Today I have understanding, knowledge, and support.  If you, or a family member, are affected by a brain disorder, have hope, and know that you are not alone.

This column is for informational purposes only.  Clinical issues should be directed to a licensed clinician or your physician.  Valerie Dalton, M.Ed. is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice serving adolescents and adults.  For more information about her counseling and consulting services, please call 743-7736 or visit www.valeriedaltonlpc.com.

© Copyright by Village Publishing

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