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Last Updated: Nov 14, 2008 - 12:49:26 PM |
Since the beginning of time, people have been falling in love. Most couples, when they fall in love, have the desire to have successful, fulfilling, and meaningful relationships. But desire alone doesn’t ensure success. If it did, there would be far fewer divorces. Success in relationships requires many things; it requires hard work, a positive attitude, skills, two partners willing to learn, and much more.
I’ve often imagined what our world would be like if people were not only required to take classes to get a driver’s license, but were also required to take classes to obtain a marriage license. It’s fairly easy to get a marriage license in Virginia today. According to www.chesterfieldcounty.gov, any man and woman 18 years of age or older wishing to marry and able to provide a valid photo ID, along with $30 can get a marriage license with no waiting period. Is it any wonder that when we don’t teach people how to be successful in marriage, and it’s something that’s so easy to do, so many relationships fail?
There are many things you can do to learn how to have successful relationships. One option is to take classes that teach the skills that research has shown to be most important to having successful marriages. One organization, First Things First of Greater Richmond, has made teaching people how to have successful relationships their mission, and they offer a wide array of classes on the topic.
For individuals who may be having trouble finding the right partner, First Things First offers a course called How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette (also called Love Thinks). This class helps individuals learn how to follow their heart without losing their mind. It teaches participants to use their thinking capacity while protecting their heart, an important skill in building a successful relationship. Another part of the program focuses on the important things you should know about someone and their family relationships when building a healthy relationship. Techniques for discovering this information are also presented. This program is designed for singles and people who may be single again after a divorce. It’s a great value for $25.
Another program offered by First Things First is a class called Romance, Rice, and Reality. If you are dating, engaged, or have been married for many years, this workshop is for you. Topics include communication skills, problem solving skills, ground rules for handling conflict, promoting intimacy, and much more. It’s also listed in SAMHSA’s (Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration of the U.S. Government) National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs as an effective intervention to increase satisfaction and stability, improve communication and conflict resolution, and to reduce problem intensity.
For $60 per couple, it’s a fantastic deal!
Bob Ruthazer, Executive Director of First Things First, says, “Research tells us to help couples before marriage. Our programs help couples to develop realistic expectations about relationships and to learn the skills that work.” Married for 29 ½ years, Bob and his wife Dianne, along with other trained couples, teach the Romance, Rice, and Reality course throughout the Richmond area. To learn more about their programs and services, please visit their website at www.FirstThingsRichmond.org or call 288-3431.
Next time we’ll take a look at other options for learning how to have successful relationships. After all, they are possible.
This column is for informational purposes only. Clinical issues should be directed to a licensed clinician or your physician. Valerie Dalton, M.Ed. is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice serving adolescents and adults. For more information about her counseling and consulting services, please call 743-7736 or visit www.valeriedaltonlpc.com.
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