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Last Updated: Nov 19, 2008 - 9:57:50 AM |
The Rabid-Rightwing-Anti-Globalists conspiracy nut jobs rant that the Move-On-Dot-Globalists see the worst financial crisis since the 1930s the same way the New Dealers saw the Depression— not as a problem, but as an opportunity. An opportunity to grow the government and impose their vision of the way things ought to be on the great unwashed as the Prophets of Rock remind us, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”
President-elect Obama’s Chicago home-boy majordomo seems determined to reinforce the rants of these delusional Anti-Hope & Change fanatics. Last Sunday, Rahmbo said, “The crisis we have today is an opportunity to finally deal with what Washington, for years, has kicked down the road.” So at least we can hope change is coming. Personally, I hope when this crowd is done I still have a little change left in my pocket. The only place they want to drill is in your wallet. Watch for policies meant to raise the price of oil. Or, as President-elect Obama said about energy, with oil prices dropping in recent weeks, “It may be a little harder politically to enact measures to lessen U.S. dependence on foreign energy.” To those who want to protect us from ourselves, the pain of high prices will force us to do what they want us to do because we don’t want to do it. I can just hear Bubba Clinton in the wings shouting, “Getter done!”
Meanwhile the serial Bailouters tell us they’re making investments and that by owning bankrupt companies, the voters will profit. Isn’t it wonderful? Now that we have the geniuses who buy $700 toilet seats handling our stock portfolios, they can at last do for our pension plans what they’ve done for Social Security and the post office. And the Prophets of Rock tell us, “Man in the trench coat, badge out, laid off, says he’s got a bad cough, wants to get it paid off.” Or as Reagan said, “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
For some reason, some people are depressed. I guess depressions can do that to you. I’ve decided not to be depressed. Instead, I accept the fact the inmates have taken over the asylum and just enjoy the show. Right now, the conservative right-wing Bush administration, which foisted the largest increase in the federal government in history, are preparing to leave so their unindicted co-conspirators, the Move-On-Dot-Liberals who think the Bushites haven’t done enough, can grow the government even bigger. It’s hilarious watching the comedy show called the news.
I always found it cute that the Move-On-Dot-People thought getting their news from “The Daily Show,” “SNL,” and “MadTV” made sense. Lately, I think they might be on to something. Where are the Marx Brothers when you need them? I can just imagine Harpo running around the Treasury Department honking his horn while Groucho and Chico throw money out the window saying, “We gotta do it for the kids,” as Zeppo catches it, only to shove it into his pockets, and an overdressed Margaret Dumont Congress fans herself with hundred-dollar bills to keep from collapsing with the vapors. Monty Python becomes reality as the Bureau of Silly Walks leads the way. Every time I hear about another mountain of cash for some poor deserving predatory lender or some run-it-into-the-ground-by-the-numbers corporation that’s too big to fail and wants the last twenty dollars I’ve hidden under the mattress, I just laugh all the harder.
As our national comedy of errors accelerates, look for more kleptocapitalists in three-piece suits to elbow their way to the federal trough, looking for that ever-expanding pie in the sky. But don’t worry; soon everyone will be unionized and the Civilian Defense Force will protect us cradle-to-grave. We may be in the business of bailing out gazillionaires so they won’t have to cut back on the caviar on their yacht or – heaven forbid – sell one of their extra homes, but in just a little while we’re going to raise taxes on all those filthy rich people who make more than (fill in the blank).
Soon the cornucopia will open and everyone gets everything for free: healthcare, education, and as some recent interviewees at the exit polls said, “He’s gonna make my house payment”; “He’s gonna put gas in my car”; and my personal favorite, “It’s my time now!” This is sweet. I wonder if we’ll all get winning lottery tickets, too. Jubilee has come, almost. Just a little while longer and those evil bosses will get what they’ve got coming. Then again, those pesky prophets of Rock ring in my ear, “The new boss is just like the old boss.”
dr.owens@comcast.net | 751-0421
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