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Last Updated: Nov 14, 2008 - 12:49:26 PM |
Now that Bush, Paulson, Bernanke, and the rest of the frat boys with the help of those paragons of the free market, Reid, Pelosi, Frank, and Dodd have saved the economy by making our national boo-boo better with a magic kiss, I’m wondering why I don’t feel bailed out. I ought to feel bailed out. My great-grandchildren will have to work their whole lives to pay the bill, so I’m wondering why I don’t feel bailed out. While I’m wondering, where’s George Bailey when you need him down at the Savings and Loan? Right about now, he’d stand on the table and ask his friends and neighbors, “How much do you need to make it through another week?” Then everyone would pull together and at the end of the day with one dollar left, even Uncle Billy would be okay, and it would be a wonderful life.
Instead, the ink wasn’t even dry on the 700-billion-dollar boondoggle when the market it was supposed to calm fell through the floor and the authors told us, “We knew all along it wasn’t big enough.” That’s like the guy who just stole the shirt off your back saying, “It’s your fault I’m still cold. I knew all along I needed your coat too.” People can say anything, but do we have to buy it all without even kicking the tires? Then again, sometimes I think we will buy anything. We bought into the son of multigenerational money transforming himself from Yale to Y’all. We’re buying into the very people who should be frog-marched out of Washington for a perp walk to Leavenworth not only writing the bill to solve the problems they’ve caused, but running the investigation to find a scapegoat, or as they call it “Who’s responsible” – which is a question we should all shout. “Who’s responsible?” Instead, what are you hearing?
I’m hearing some strange things lately. Friends of mine who’ve been against capitalism all their lives, people who’ve taken every opportunity to support and vote for anyone who promised to cut back on all this reckless opportunity we’ve had in America, are getting ready to bail out. One staunch supporter of socialism is preparing to board her yacht and sail to a neutral port “just in case they start confiscating things or close the borders.” Another is stockpiling guns and food while telling friends and relatives, “Come to the compound and hunker down.” Another, after selling his business before the new confiscatory capital gains taxes, is now working on citizenship in another country and talking about “moving to a villa on the Mediterranean.” I’m all for people leaving whenever they want; my only regret is that all of them plan on waiting just long enough to cast one more vote for socialism for the rest of us before they scamper for the door.
Meanwhile the nightly news takes on the character of a grade “B” horror flick with a deep throated announcer intoning “The Night of the Living Hacks! Watch as the perpetually re-elected devour your savings and weld shackles of debt to your children for a hundred generations!” Who would have guessed recessions could get so depressing?
Let me give you little hope you can believe for. Just imagine: Imagine a future where Bill “Bugsy” Dailey as Postmaster General or Consiglieri and his empty suit bring the blessings of Chicago-style honest government to Washington, and the world will be as one. Imagine William Ayers as the Secretary of Education; imagine there are no countries. It isn’t hard to do. Imagine Barney Frank as the Secretary of the Treasury; no need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man. Imagine Rev. Wright as the Director of Faith-Based Initiatives; imagine there’s no heaven; it’s easy if you try; no hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine Al Gore as the Czar of the Environment; imagine all the people living for today. Imagine John Murtha as Secretary of Defense; imagine all the people living life in peace. Imagine Hillary on the Supreme Court, and no religion too. Imagine Bill as the Secretary General of the UN; imagine all the people sharing all the world. Imagine ACORN in charge of everyone’s voter registration; imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can. Oh, won’t it be grand!
So as Pixie and Dixie scramble for the door with the cheese in their mouths, while we stare at the escalating prices and shrinking opportunities, let’s all get ready for Pottersville and the joys of a political system that used greed and corruption to turn freedom and opportunity into a rigged crap shoot that’s finally seen the snake’s eyes.
This brings me to mention another acquaintance of mine, a couple of real freedom lovers. He was born in the Soviet Union. She was born in East Germany. The last time I saw her, she said, “I cry myself to sleep every night because I’ve lived where America is heading.” He said, “I have been fleeing socialism all my life and now that it is coming to America, I don’t know where to run anymore.” Maybe the reason I don’t feel bailed out is that in the real world outside of Oz, before you can bail out a boat, you have to plug the hole not make it bigger.
Then again, there’s always McSame and the “Me Too” choir reaching across the aisle to make sure every patch is made out of Swiss cheese while making the hole bipartisan. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one; I hope someday you’ll join us and we’ll throw all the bums out!
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